This is a difficult one and I am wrestling with it a bit at the moment. I absolutely believe that if our practice and actions are regularly in conflict with the expectations we set in others or state then we will see disengagement. We see this as a parent from the old adage "Do as I say, not as I do". It doesn't work; if you are constantly shouting, your children will to!
However, what about in business or other aspects of life?
I need to pay the bills and I have to budget; so far no different to anyone. There are times I choose to buy a cheaper product, that I know may not be as ethical or has more packaging than I want, but it is the cheapest and it is something I need, or think I need.
I know that coaching works, and it works well. I also know that many people would not even consider coaching as it can work out expensive. Counselling is expensive; Physiotherapy is expensive and yet people routinely budget and pay for those services. Why is that? Is it because they are more recognised? Is it because with some services, there is an actual physical change that is immediately noticeable?
I have a deep routed belief in people. Everyone has potential to succeed and be happy BUT, and it is a big but, some are very disadvantaged. The education gap is widening; social mobility is still a dream; low paid employment is still low paid and some still does not meet the legal requirement. There are many who are holding down two or three jobs just to put food on the table. Some of these people lose hope; cannot see a future. Although they have skills and knowledge their lives are chaotic because there is no space to envisage a new one.
So, incongruence? I know that coaching could make an enormous difference to those who have been disadvantaged, just as much as to those with every advantage in life. I have to charge as I have to pay the bills. I do not want my own children to become disadvantaged. I say I want to do something, but what do I actually do? I recently put out a post about helping others, so the dilemma is how to do that whilst also earning my own living.
It is a wrestle and I think often about this. I am considering various options as to how this could work, and what I could do, and there are things in the pipeline, but I am aware that some of my choices may seem incongruous at times.
So, how do I manage this. Well, I strongly feel that the fact I acknowledge it and try to do something about it is one step forwards. Talking to others and discussing ideas and how they may work is another step. I think we all live with a little incongruity, it is ensuring that it does not take over. If we all recognise it, acknowledge when we have got it wrong, call it out when we can, take slow steps in the right direction for ourselves, then we can be encouraged that we are on the right lines. I admire those who do not let incongruity into their lives at all - I am not perfect and am unlikely ever to be, so as long as I keep trying, that is good enough!
Let me know your thoughts on incongruity in your life.